America, we need to talk
You’re addicted to bacon. Don’t deny it, we both know denial is the first sign of addiction. That is why I am here: to stage an intervention.
Bacon used to be a Sunday morning pastime. You would wake up to the sound of a hissing skillet and the aroma of deliciousness.
But that wasn’t enough for you, was it? You needed more. Soon you started turning to bacon all the time.
Allow me illustrate.
Archie McPhee has a whole line of bacon products including: bacon candy canes, bacon frosting, bacon gumballs, bacon lollipops, bacon floss, and bacon air freshener.
Chain restaurants are on the kick now too. Burger King introduced their Bacon Sundae, Jack in the Box shakes it up with their Bacon Shake (that actually contains no bacon), and Denny’s hopped on the bandwagon with a Bacon Sundae of their own.
You can smell like the pork product thanks to Bacon Cologne, and if you need a jolt first thing in the morning, the Wake n’ Bacon alarm clock will hit the spot. The alarm uses real bacon to create a real bacon smell to really wake you up.
Bacon Diet Coke
“To answer your question,” Scott Williamson, vice president of public affairs and communication for Coca-Cola told BaconToday.com, “No, there is no Diet Coke with bacon.”So, when I saw Diet Coke with Bacon circulating the internet, I though we had reached our bottom.
Could this detestable beverage be real?
Phew! Sorry America. Spoke too soon. Please accept these bacon roses as a symbol of my apology.