#1 The African Fertility Statues
The top of the list is our revered African Fertility Statues. Since Ripley’s attained these, people have traveled from around the world to touch the statues with the hope of conceiving.
Following a three-year world tour in the late 90s, we have received more than 2,000 letters from women who had become pregnant shortly after touching the statues – even though many had been told by doctors they would never conceive.
And those who cannot make the trip have even faxed their hands to us to touch the statues!
2: Plush Kitten Bouquet
You love cats. The internet loves cats. Cats are the best. And hopefully your valentine thinks similarly so when you surprise her with this fantastic bouquet of kittens they’ll be speechless. Just don’t use real cats.
3: Say it with Bacon
Nothing says romance like bacon. This specific couple had a bacon-themed wedding. Consider going the romantic route and making a bouquet out of bacon like they did. We suggest dual bouquets and getting kittens and bacon. Really, you can’t have too many
4: Anatomic Chocolate
Glenn Mueller (@chocomuhtize) Chocolate by Mueller sent in their romantic creations! The latest includes anatomically correct-hearts and lungs “for the one who sucks the ever living life out of you – or the the one who takes your breath away.”
5: Matching Onesies!
What do we need to say? This is plainly one of the best gifts on the list! Perfect for watching movies inside, looking excessively cozy at a theater, or being severely under dressed for your fancy dinner reservation that won’t be able to afford anymore because they are $45 per onesie.
6: [ Nothing. ]
You say it every year “Let’s not do gifts this year.” Every year you fail and end up spending a stupid amount on flowers and candies. This year follow through onyour plan and get NOTHING, available for purchase on Amazon. Now you can actually pay money to buy the gift of nothing! The best part are the reviews.
7: Candy Heart Sweater!
Stylish but with a sweet touch. We are yet to know anyone to actually buy this, but rumor has it: The material it’s made of actually tastes like candy hearts. Or maybe, more correctly, it’s candy hearts that taste like this cotton-polyester sweater.
8: The 2-Carat Mug
Have you finally come to terms that your special someone loves coffee and tea more than you? This is the jewellery they want. It’s a perfect way for to acknowledge the special someone they couldn’t live without: Large doses of caffeine-laden hot beverages.
9: It’s a mitten for two!
We have all been there. You’re out and about with your significant other and you want to hold hands. But it’s cold! And mittens are just an impersonal solution! Now you and your partner, date, or whomever is willing to be seen in public with this can hold hands despite the cold inclement weather.
10: Male Cupid Outfit
Are you single but playing matchmaker setting up friends this Valentine’s Day? Or maybe just want that special outfit for your Valentine’s party? Maybe trying to find that special love today?
BONUS: Name A Roach!
WHAT HAS SIX LEGS, A SURPRISINGLY HIGH TOLERANCE FOR RADIATION, AND IS BOUND TO CRAWL INTO YOUR LOVED ONE’S HEART?
For another year, the Bronx Zoo’s is selling the privilege to name one of their Madagascar hissing cockroaches after your loved one.